Power to you! You single, wonderfully fun and attractive human you. Why waste this fluffy pink and heart-shaped filled day moping around about your lack of dinner plans. I’ve got some ideas to get you through.
- Fill your apartment with pink and red helium filled balloons, blare Bruno Mars songs from 2008, moonwalk in fuzzy socks.
- Order a pizza, eat the pizza, tattoo ‘No Ragrets’ on your chest.
- Turn the oven on, make cookie dough, eat all the cookie dough, whine about your belly ache, forget to turn oven off.
- Troll internet trolls.
- Coffee mug + all non-expired condiments in the fridge = weird smelling, absolutely useless face mask.
- Dance for money in the subway, make $8, buy seven $1 dollar pizza slices and a Diet Coke.
- Download Candy Crush, play Candy Crush with unlimited lives, regain consciousness of your surroundings at 3am.
- Put on your bathrobe, clear the living room of furniture, YouTube Madonna “Vogue” dance tutorial.
- Scrape the middle from 17 Oreos and place between 2 cookies. Feed extra cookies to your cat.
- Swing by CVS at 11:59pm and demand half price heart shaped boxes of chocolates. Eat all the chocolates in the checkout line prior to purchase.
- Make an “I’m an Olympic God, with legs that never tire and lungs of steel” Spotify playlist and go for a run. Run to the nearest bodega for Ben and Jerry’s.
- Invite your girl friends over and reenact the bonfire scene from The Proposal. Spend the rest of the night watching Betty White on Golden Girls.
- Host a “Make Tinder Great Again” party. Fill the piñata with your roommates left over Christmas candy.
- Lay on the floor of your bedroom and practice your Spanish with Siri.
- Call your mom, walk her through downloading Venmo, ask for $20.
- Sneak into your roommates room, un-pair all their socks, repair socks with mismatched socks.
- Buy a wheel of brie. Eat the wheel of brie. Brie the happiest person alive.
- Fix your makeup, fix your hair, take selfies until your phone runs out of storage, do not post selfies.
- Call your 6 closest friends. Read from Oprah’s memoir until they hang up on you.
- Have the best day ever.
Do something nice for someone else.
& Love yourself.