I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but as your friend, I find it my responsibility to share with you something I’ve been forced to come to terms with. Both through my own experiences and the experiences of those that I’m close to, I’ve learned that though we wish we could hit a big fat delete on this ‘terrible to be around’ species after high school and college–we can’t.

They lurk around happy hour and book club with judgmental eyes, snide comments, and catty tendencies. Mean girls exist at every age and stage of life, and for the sake of making your life a little bit easier and mean girl-free, I’ve taken a stab at navigating how to deal with the unavoidable mean girls in adulthood.

Dealing With The Unavoidable Mean Girl

It’s not easy when the mean girl in your life is a daily occurrence (aka, you work with them, they are your sister in-law, roommate, etc.)

My best advice for dealing with an unavoidable mean girl is this:
-Don’t let their actions or words affect how you feel about yourself
-Be courageous and call them out in a mature way when they are mean
-Show kindness amidst their cattiness and intolerable attitude
-Don’t let a mean girl think they way she treats you or others is okay. Mean girls will often still try to be ‘friends.’ Deny their attempts to spend time with you, hinting that you don’t enjoy being around them.

sometimes our Friends are Mean

They may not be mean to you, per say, but if your girl gang’s conversations are constantly focused on tearing other women down, you don’t have to say a word to be guilty by association.

Let your friends know that it’s not cool and you won’t tolerate it– because you shouldn’t. Once you take a stand, they’ll be too embarrassed to carry on with their childish behaviors.

What if You’re the mean girl

Is it possible you’re the mean girl at times? If you’ve gotten to this point of the blog and you’re feeling forced to second guess your own actions, it’s likely you’re playing the role of mean girl whether you mean to or not.  Think hard about how you’ve treated people in the last month. Did you approach others with a kind and serving spirit? Or did you scoff at their ask for help or minor flaw? Did you take time to get to know the woman around you? Or did you jump to a conclusion about someone based off their clothes or circumstance?

Though hard to admit, If you’ve played the role of mean girl it’s time to own up.  Make a conscious effort to 1) apologize to those you’ve acted adversely to and 2) make an extra effort to be kind. Apologizing with your words and your actions is powerful.

Moving forward, get to know the women around you on a more deep level by asking questions, listening, and offering support. Most importantly, treat the women around you with respect. They deserve it just as much as you do. Be kind, and caring to one another– I promise your girl world will be a better place.

Finally, Forgive and forget

There is no room for grudges in girl world. If you’ve been treated poorly by another woman in your life, love them through it. They’ll soon realize that you, confident and strong, are not affected by their actions, and either apologize or give up.  It’s your job as a mature adult to help your fellow woman through this phase, so forgive them for their actions (even if they don’t ask for it) and forget about the past by being kind and caring always.

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